Fic!

Nov. 2nd, 2007 05:30 pm
3pipeproblem: (s'more!)
Title: The Perfect Crime
Fandom: Boston Legal/Boondock Saints
Notes: Written for the 2007 Finishathon (master list available at [livejournal.com profile] multific). Smecker/Shore is my cracktastic crossover OTP; this takes place in the AU [livejournal.com profile] dien and I dreamed up (I think I had a part in dreaming it up, anyway) where they attended law school together. For more--and vastly superior--Smecker/Shore, check out [livejournal.com profile] dien's LJ.

'That's the trouble with a life of crime. It leaves you no time to attend to your figure.' )
3pipeproblem: (unhappy Alan)
While I am fundamentally opposed to posting fic (especially fic that stands to max out at about 2000 words, tops) in installments, I'm on a deadline and have a book to proofread by tomorrow afternoon. Soooo, with that in the forefront of my mind, I present to you my submission to [livejournal.com profile] delurker's His Dark Materials crossover/fusion challenge.

A Quick Briefing on HDM )

Title: Three Forms Alan Shore's Dæmon Didn't Settle Into (And One It Did) (1/2)
Full names of the fandom and characters: Boston Legal: Alan Shore, Alan Shore, Alan Shore (Shirley and Denny to follow)
Summary:...hahahaha, why do I include these things? I think the title's pretty self-explanatory.

One )

Two )
3pipeproblem: (all my friends are fuckups/but they're f)
My housemate has an impressively loud friend over, which means I'm not good for much besides posting things I've already written. So, on that note...

Alan + Denny + zombies )

From now on, I think my fic(lets) should include acknowledgements. I am very much indebted to wikipedia for its article on shotguns. And also mucus (it seemed relevant at the time).

You know what, while we're at it, my cousin used to play this game all the damn time.
3pipeproblem: (little!Alan is a Ravenclaw)
Fic! Mini-fic, but fic. Written for [livejournal.com profile] everyfiveyears, a challenge I should be able to finish. The general idea (as you might have surmised) is to write a fic for every five years in a given character's life.

Alan Shore, needless to say. Age 5.


Fencebuster )
3pipeproblem: (you're just jealous)
I have decided to keep the wacky header practice.

Title: Pre-Possessory Interest
Fandom: Boston Legal/Boondock Saints (or the fandom affectionately known as "crack")
Notes: Where to begin? This is pure AU crack, with Alan Shore and Paul Smecker going to law school together. It's all [livejournal.com profile] dien's fault. More can be found here if you somehow become addicted.

'Shore,' Smecker acknowledges, enunciating the name like a precedent, squinting over his cigarette as though aiming a dart. 'You're the one who puked in the library.' )
3pipeproblem: (unhappy Alan)
Fic! I'm going to go with using a header as some wacky experimental thing, but unfortunately that means giving this a title...

Title: Parasomnia
Fandom: Boston Legal
Notes: Night terrors fic, as requested by [livejournal.com profile] shyday. Three months ago. But I finished in time for her birthday!

Also, I used Pascal for the epigraph, but it could just as easily have been Joyce: "History, Stephen said, is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake."

Cross-posted to [livejournal.com profile] fanfic100.



“All the unhappiness of man stems from one thing only: that he is incapable of staying quietly in his own room.”
--Pascal


Alan fell down the stairs the day Miss O (O for Occopinti), a woman with dulling red hair and a stringent sticker-awarding policy, imparted to his second grade class the secret that the Earth was spinning. )
3pipeproblem: (then there's now.)
Title: Framework
Author: [livejournal.com profile] 3pipeproblem
Rating: G...maybe PG for drug use.
Pairing: House & Alan Shore (not even platonic. antagonistic.)
Prompt: 31; Why we hurt ourselves defies the MRI
that shows us only where the bullet lodged.
- Rafael Campo

Disclaimer: House is the property of Shore. Shore is the property of David E. Kelley. One day I will own them all.
Summary: Words are exchanged. (Crossover with Boston Legal.)
Notes: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] moofoot for the beta and the encouragement, [livejournal.com profile] bohemiancachetfor the same and for being my ho, and [livejournal.com profile] _redcorvette for lending me her snark.

(x-posted to [livejournal.com profile] houserareathon)

'There would be more emotional distress,' House replied, 'but your presence is sapping my will to live, be fruitful, and torment others.' )
3pipeproblem: (empire of dirt)
Short vignette (is that redundant? I think even by vignette standards it's short) written for the Worst-Case Scenario Ficathon, mostly because I have that planner and wanted to write a story about Alan being stuck in a walk-in freezer. Sadly, that was not my prompt.

This isn't what I'd call "the best" or even what I'd call "good." Which is sad because I think it has potential, but...it's already way past due.

And for the record, TM!Alan and Brad have had a conversation about my scenario.

Alan gets himself unobtrusively drunk in time for the nine o' clock flight out of Dallas/Fort Worth. )
3pipeproblem: (are they even necessary?)
Behold, my [livejournal.com profile] freeversefic entry. Almost only a week late!

Boston Legal, Alan/Tara to the extent that I can force Alan to cooperate. Which...isn't all that far.

I had to write based on these (most excellent) lines:

He forces me into a station wagon and
Drives to Texas,
To a used car lot
Marked with plastic yellow flags,
So I may attend an execution


Execution )
3pipeproblem: (alan/ray)
The long-promised little!Alan Shore/little!Ray K fic.

Takes place in this crazy TM AU, so only about 3 people will understand the context. There's not really any way to explain it, but a little bit of the crack is over here.

Elevator Tag )
3pipeproblem: (Default)
Written for the everyday superheroes fanfic challenge.

Alan with superpowers. Shameless attempts at imitation of Kavalier and Clay. And that's about it. Oh--I don't read comics, so, you know...pretend it's because I'm poverty-stricken and please don't mock.

'You forget that all superpowers are essentially a means of having better sex.' )
3pipeproblem: (one shot finch)
Well, a day late and...not so much a dollar short, I present Alan/Tara Christmas fluff! (Heh, I kept looking for a point in the thing. Clearly Alan and I share a problem.)

Attempting to conceal a four-foot tall, flame-retardant, non-allergenic, but extremely lifelike artificial Christmas tree behind his back with one hand while holding a bottle of wine in the other was one of the most difficult tasks he’d undertaken all week. Perhaps because he’d spent the better part of his time at the office addressing Christmas cards. )

And recs! (These are from [livejournal.com profile] yuletide, and, well, there were only two BL stories and I'm reccing them both, because they're both pretty phenomenal.)

Three Dreams, Five Women--This one was written for me (so you have me to thank for it!), and it has wonderful Alan-Denny interaction and glimpses into Alan's subconscious...good stuff.

"I dreamed about Lori and Brad having sex in a Volvo," he said, because he'd had enough of picturing Tara in his own post-mortem period and he wasn't in any mood to plan Denny's funeral.

"I've never had sex in a Volvo," Denny said.

"Maybe tonight I'll dream about the burial," Alan said, "and someone will have sex in a Pinto."


Manful--(Link goes to text only because the other doesn't work). Alan/Brad, the pairing that will never cease to make me snicker. Some great lines in here, and the author actually writes both men very well. Why anyone would even bother to write Brad well...I mean... Nah, it's pretty damn funny. And there's no actual sex, so don't be scared. Not too scared, anyway.

"No," Alan says, "stop doing that."

"What?" Brad asks. The man's got to be a mind reader.

"That thing you people do, to explain other people you don't quite understand -- or, excuse me, don't want to understand. I'm not making small-talk, I don't really want to be buddies -- I don't have buddies and, I know this may seem odd to you, but I'm quite content not having buddies, actually -- I simply have an honest question, which you have answered, and now you're psychoanalyzing me. Like, I might add, every woman I have ever dated since nineteen eighty seven."

"I am not," Brad begins.

"Yes yes, of course," Alan acquiesces, "you're the Ken in this relationship."
3pipeproblem: (bleeding me)
Behold, my Alan Five Things story. You're, as always, free to skip these and go right into reading it. I wrote most of it over the summer, so it has more to do with The Practice than Boston Legal (although why I'm specifying the universe these things never happened in, I really don't know). There aren't any crazy AUs with, say, Alan as a journalist in the 1950s. I tried to make each of the scenes somewhat plausible. Each of the five scenes had to do with faith. In my mind, at least. Heh, and all of it was written before Sunday's ep, in case you were wondering.

I like some of these a lot more than others. And now that I've done it once, I'd almost like to try it again. Anyway...

Five Things that Never Happened to Alan Shore )
3pipeproblem: (shore)
*sigh* I love writing for The Practice. Shorefic, written purely for my own benefit.

For this week's [livejournal.com profile] 15minuteficlets. My first. I guess I'll put the word at the end of the story.

Meaning )

Shorefic!

Oct. 19th, 2003 09:47 pm
3pipeproblem: (Default)
I'm not sure how I feel about this one. Might tweak it a bit before posting on ff.net. Just wanted to get it up before tonight's ep. Rather stream-of-consciousness. No plot whatsoever. The Practice. Utterly Shore-centered. I think it has some grammar problems. Grr.

You don't think of yourself as a lawyer. )

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