And if I don't get the quiz result I like, I can make my own!
Your romance is most like Roger Dodger. You're smart, witty, and perceptive. Unfortunately, you're also full of self-loathing. Your life is one big self-destructive spiral. You hurt others before they can hurt or reject you, drink scotch incessantly, and stalk your boss. You do have a conscience, but you're probably the only one who knows it. But hey, no matter how bad things get, there's always the failsafe.
