3pipeproblem

While I am fundamentally opposed to posting fic (especially fic that stands to max out at about 2000 words, tops) in installments, I'm on a deadline and have a book to proofread by tomorrow afternoon. Soooo, with that in the forefront of my mind, I present to you my submission to delurker's His Dark Materials crossover/fusion challenge.

( A Quick Briefing on HDM )

Title: Three Forms Alan Shore's Dæmon Didn't Settle Into (And One It Did) (1/2)
Full names of the fandom and characters: Boston Legal: Alan Shore, Alan Shore, Alan Shore (Shirley and Denny to follow)
Summary:...hahahaha, why do I include these things? I think the title's pretty self-explanatory.

( One )

( Two )

Fic! Mini-fic, but fic. Written for everyfiveyears, a challenge I should be able to finish. The general idea (as you might have surmised) is to write a fic for every five years in a given character's life.

Alan Shore, needless to say. Age 5.


( Fencebuster )

Fic! I'm going to go with using a header as some wacky experimental thing, but unfortunately that means giving this a title...

Title: Parasomnia
Fandom: Boston Legal
Notes: Night terrors fic, as requested by shyday. Three months ago. But I finished in time for her birthday!

Also, I used Pascal for the epigraph, but it could just as easily have been Joyce: "History, Stephen said, is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake."

Cross-posted to fanfic100.



“All the unhappiness of man stems from one thing only: that he is incapable of staying quietly in his own room.”
--Pascal

( Alan fell down the stairs the day Miss O (O for Occopinti), a woman with dulling red hair and a stringent sticker-awarding policy, imparted to his second grade class the secret that the Earth was spinning. )

Short vignette (is that redundant? I think even by vignette standards it's short) written for the Worst-Case Scenario Ficathon, mostly because I have that planner and wanted to write a story about Alan being stuck in a walk-in freezer. Sadly, that was not my prompt.

This isn't what I'd call "the best" or even what I'd call "good." Which is sad because I think it has potential, but...it's already way past due.

And for the record, TM!Alan and Brad have had a conversation about my scenario.

( Alan gets himself unobtrusively drunk in time for the nine o' clock flight out of Dallas/Fort Worth. )

The long-promised little!Alan Shore/little!Ray K fic.

Takes place in this crazy TM AU, so only about 3 people will understand the context. There's not really any way to explain it, but a little bit of the crack is over here.

( Elevator Tag )

Well, a day late and...not so much a dollar short, I present Alan/Tara Christmas fluff! (Heh, I kept looking for a point in the thing. Clearly Alan and I share a problem.)

( Attempting to conceal a four-foot tall, flame-retardant, non-allergenic, but extremely lifelike artificial Christmas tree behind his back with one hand while holding a bottle of wine in the other was one of the most difficult tasks he’d undertaken all week. Perhaps because he’d spent the better part of his time at the office addressing Christmas cards. )

And recs! (These are from yuletide, and, well, there were only two BL stories and I'm reccing them both, because they're both pretty phenomenal.)

Three Dreams, Five Women--This one was written for me (so you have me to thank for it!), and it has wonderful Alan-Denny interaction and glimpses into Alan's subconscious...good stuff.

"I dreamed about Lori and Brad having sex in a Volvo," he said, because he'd had enough of picturing Tara in his own post-mortem period and he wasn't in any mood to plan Denny's funeral.

"I've never had sex in a Volvo," Denny said.

"Maybe tonight I'll dream about the burial," Alan said, "and someone will have sex in a Pinto."

Manful--(Link goes to text only because the other doesn't work). Alan/Brad, the pairing that will never cease to make me snicker. Some great lines in here, and the author actually writes both men very well. Why anyone would even bother to write Brad well...I mean... Nah, it's pretty damn funny. And there's no actual sex, so don't be scared. Not too scared, anyway.

"No," Alan says, "stop doing that."

"What?" Brad asks. The man's got to be a mind reader.

"That thing you people do, to explain other people you don't quite understand -- or, excuse me, don't want to understand. I'm not making small-talk, I don't really want to be buddies -- I don't have buddies and, I know this may seem odd to you, but I'm quite content not having buddies, actually -- I simply have an honest question, which you have answered, and now you're psychoanalyzing me. Like, I might add, every woman I have ever dated since nineteen eighty seven."

"I am not," Brad begins.

"Yes yes, of course," Alan acquiesces, "you're the Ken in this relationship."

*sigh* I love writing for The Practice. Shorefic, written purely for my own benefit.

For this week's 15minuteficlets. My first. I guess I'll put the word at the end of the story.

( Meaning )