(no subject)

[3pipeproblem]

HanSolo57: He could have The Flash's powers from the golden age which include: Ability to move through objects, run really fast, travel back in time on the cosmic treadmill, and basically do whatever the hell he wants
WalkerATAT: "travel back in time on the cosmic treadmill"
HanSolo57: Apparently it also let him go to parallel universes!
HanSolo57: Cosmic Treadmill
WalkerATAT: *dies*
HanSolo57: Teleportation? Ability to ingite oneself? Being made out of rock?
HanSolo57: Frankly there aren't a lot of super powers that lend themselves to court/nonsexual use
WalkerATAT: I want something that would at least require imagination to be used for sex
HanSolo57: Hmm...
HanSolo57: Uber journalism skills? the voice of god?
WalkerATAT: uber journalism skills??
HanSolo57: Okay, not techinically a 'super power' per se
HanSolo57: But it's pretty super none the less
WalkerATAT: what's the green lantern's power again?
HanSolo57: He's got the green lantern ring, which basically lets him do whatever he wants (as long as he has the will to do it)
HanSolo57: It's... weird. And if Denny were to wear a yellow tie it would weaken Alan
WalkerATAT: *dies*
WalkerATAT: denny needs a power, too
HanSolo57: Hmm
WalkerATAT: hahahaha, could McGyver be considered a superhero?
HanSolo57: Hmm, but isn't that basically the sense of practicality?
WalkerATAT: true enough
WalkerATAT: although it's also being able to make a bazooka out of a hose
HanSolo57: Well, yes. But I've only seen one thing with The Question, so maybe he can do that too
HanSolo57: The Question also has an interesting mask: The Question
WalkerATAT: hahahahaha, what is his superpower?
WalkerATAT: and Alan would refuse to wear a mask
HanSolo57: This is true
HanSolo57: Um, in addition to martial arts skills and the aforementioned practicality he can see a shadow/alternate world on top of our own. It's weird
WalkerATAT: that is weird
HanSolo57: I haven't quite entirely wrapped my head around it yet, I've only read three issues of it
HanSolo57: So he basically sees things that other people don't
HanSolo57: But a no mask here would put him more in line with Marvel characters.... hmmm
WalkerATAT: well, it's just the power, anyway
WalkerATAT: not the outfit
HanSolo57: Well, yes true
HanSolo57: He could have the Hulk's power
WalkerATAT: no turning green
WalkerATAT: what's the Phantom's power?
HanSolo57: He could just grow then? And go apeshit when he loses a case and destroy part of town
WalkerATAT: what's John Constantine's power?
HanSolo57: Ugh, the Phantom's power is a gay purple outfit
WalkerATAT: Brad can have that one
HanSolo57: John Constantine's power is sarcasm, a British accent and bleached hair
HanSolo57: err powers I guess
WalkerATAT: all of which will be gone in the movie
HanSolo57: And knowledge of the occult, if you call that a powe
HanSolo57: err power
HanSolo57: Well, it could be parched. The sarcasm that is
HanSolo57: He could have Thor's power, which is basically flight, conrol of lightning and a badass hammer
WalkerATAT: I'm limiting him to one power
HanSolo57: That rules out a surprisingly large number of people
WalkerATAT: well, I can pick one of theirs
HanSolo57: He could have Captain Boomerang's power, which is basically being a badass witha boomerang
HanSolo57: But of course that makes him like the crappiest villain ever, so go figure
WalkerATAT: except for the suit of armor
WalkerATAT: what was its name???
HanSolo57: Nah. The suit of armor is probably a better villain. Captain Boomerang gets shot by Robin's dad
WalkerATAT: This will make hours of your time vanish. I swear.
HanSolo57: Look at number 1!
WalkerATAT: HAHAHAHHHAHAHA
HanSolo57: Facade!
WalkerATAT: First Appearance: Web of Spider-Man #113. Having your debut in "Web of Spider-Man" is like being born into a country like Rwanda. Good luck.
HanSolo57: Swarm is a NAZI COVERED IN BEES. That's his power. He's also easily defeated by insecticide, or a large piece of mesh plastic on the end of a metal pole. Who the shit is going to mess with a NAZI MADE OF BEES? Ich bin HIVE Berliner.
HanSolo57: Swarm likes his women like he likes his coffee. COVERED IN BEES.
WalkerATAT: *DIES*
WalkerATAT: this is priceless
HanSolo57: #14!
HanSolo57: This means there are two Boomerangs
HanSolo57: The one I was talking about was DC. Now that's bizarre
WalkerATAT: his plan, other than to be made of cheap plastic and carry himself, his driver, and some cheap Dukes of Hazzard decals down the front yard hill, is to find and crush the Rocket Racer. Why? Because Racer made fun of his last name. Oh well, that's black people for you.
HanSolo57: LOL
HanSolo57: Do you think the Green Lantern is powerful? He has a power ring. Corona can melt and destroy anything she points at or that touches her. Do you think the Green Lantern's weakness against the color yellow is retarded? Corona is susceptible to foam and "power siphons," which means you can beat her ass using shaving cream or battery amperage. Sadly, Corona associates better with the term "lemon" than she does with "lime."
WalkerATAT: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA
WalkerATAT: is that on this page?
HanSolo57: Cardiac is as SERIOUS AS A HEART ATTACK~! in his mission to avenge his brother's death from rare disease. Medical care was denied to the brother because he WAS a brother, and because the medicines and procedures required weren't deemed cost-effective.
HanSolo57: Yeah, like 18 or so
HanSolo57: So you linked me to this at the same time I found it, what did you google to get it?
WalkerATAT: armor and spiderman
WalkerATAT: you?
HanSolo57: I typed
HanSolo57: "worst spider-man villains"
HanSolo57: Powers: After dodging one of the Walrus' punches, Spider-Man gloats about how fast he is. Walrus has one of the funniest responses ever: "Yeah, well - Don't underestimate ME, pal! For your information, I've got the proportionate speed, strength and agility of a WALRUS!" Of course, a walrus is bigger than a person, so his powers are being slower, weaker, and less agile than a fat sea cow.
HanSolo57: As though we haven't seen enough bad villains
WalkerATAT: the 10 eyed man
HanSolo57: Yes!
WalkerATAT: RAINBOW RAIDER
HanSolo57: Isn't this amazing?
HanSolo57: Scorpio was dead at the time of the picture, Jake Fury...to later be replaced by an android, who would then make other androids and kill the people above
HanSolo57: Wow, Slyde, top speed 30mph but is frictionless
WalkerATAT: so he doesn't stop moving?
WalkerATAT: that should be Alan's superpower
HanSolo57: Until he hits something head on, I guess not
WalkerATAT: being frictionless
HanSolo57: Of course, he'd bounce back then
HanSolo57: Man that would suck hardcore
HanSolo57: It most be optional, there's no way they did it in a scientifically accurate way
HanSolo57: Paintball: http://www.improvisation.ws/mb/showthread.php?t=23464&page=5&pp=20
HanSolo57: It's like the third one down, first picture
HanSolo57: Wow, a little bit down, Modam. Captain America has the crappiest villains
HanSolo57: This makes me want to go to a comic book store and buy as many issues with bad, old school covers to put up on my wall at school
HanSolo57: Endotherm
WalkerATAT: he absorbs heat?
HanSolo57: Well, yeah. Or he makes things cold, however you want to look at it
HanSolo57: He's one of the 10+ ice guys
WalkerATAT: what's Dr. Doom's power?
WalkerATAT: and Silver Sable's?
HanSolo57: Dr. Doom is made of metal, and might be able to fire some shit out of his body, not sure
HanSolo57: Dunno about Silver Sable
HanSolo57: The Mighty Thor VS... EL TORO ROJO!
WalkerATAT: it gives you wings!
HanSolo57: Lol
HanSolo57: The Uncanny Orb
HanSolo57: Doctor Dorcas
WalkerATAT: HAHAHAHHA
HanSolo57: THE LEGION OF LOSERS!!!! Featuring The Spot! The Kangaroo! The Grizzly! And THE GIBBON!!!!!
WalkerATAT: Gibbon
WalkerATAT: cause of the decline and fall of the roman empire
HanSolo57: lol
HanSolo57: The Force of July: Lady Liberty, Major Victory, Mayflower, Silent Majority & Sparkler
HanSolo57: Major Victory, lol
WalkerATAT: Silent Majority
HanSolo57: lol
HanSolo57: " The Tri-Man. A machine with the strength of THREE men!"
HanSolo57: Vartox, his power is the ability to control people's capes
WalkerATAT: hahahahahahaha
WalkerATAT: that's great
HanSolo57: THE ANIMAL-VEGETABLE-MINERAL MENACE!!!!!

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_redcorvette/]

hahahahahahahaha You're friends with a comic book encyclopedia!

[3pipeproblem.livejournal.com]

Anything that will talk to me!!!

[dien.livejournal.com]

*laughs madly*

This is even funnnier to me because I do know most of these villains.

*is also comic book geek*

Ahhhh Rainbow Raider, Roy G. Bivolo. How we miss you and all other insane Silver Age villains...

[3pipeproblem.livejournal.com]

Rainbow Raider should clearly be Brad. So clearly that I'm...no. No fic.

(Alanfic (http://www.livejournal.com/users/3pipeproblem/147330.html#cutid1) is finished, though!)

[treelines.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA. COVERED IN BEES.

[3pipeproblem.livejournal.com]

Facade is the worst of these, decked out in the F.A.C.A.D.E. armor (Full Acclimation Combat And Defense Explo-skeleton. Yes, "Explo" skeleton. Yes, like an exploding skeleton. Like when you whip one in Castlevania.)

I keep wanting TM's Spiderman contingent to bring back these lame-ass villains.

[treelines.livejournal.com]

I am now tempted to do it with Swarm, just because I could potentially use the phrase "COVERED IN BEES". And then have him complain about The Producers.

[3pipeproblem.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Although you do know that in anything involving Nazis, Indiana Jones must appear.

[treelines.livejournal.com]

OMG, yes. I would love to see Indie battling Swarm. I know absolutely nothing about Swarm, but I know it'd be awesome.