3pipeproblem: (he brags of his misery/he likes to live)
[personal profile] 3pipeproblem
Yesterday I got dragged to my sister's eighth grade graduation. Of all the stupid events...when I was in eighth grade, I graduated (believe it or not) and my family had a fairly big party with a lot of family members and a few friends. I think I got a new bike. The same goes for my brother and my other sister. This sister didn't get a party or any presents, partly because my family has become poor, but mostly because, as my mother said, "[Your other sister] is out of town." I don't understand why myself and my brother had to attend--my sister didn't care. We certainly didn't care. I have reasoned this through and the only logical conclusion is that my mom wanted to make us miserable.

Okay, the one good thing is that my middle school has this kickass machine where you can buy pencils for a quarter. Now I assumed (back in the day) when I bought one that they'd be your normal pencils, but the machine is apparently stocked by a colorblind crazy man. And in the seven (?) years since I went there, the price has remained the same! So I did get three extremely ugly pencils for my trouble (and seventy-five cents). That was the good part.

Graduation was, as per usual, in the gym, which was, as per usual, sweltering. My father, my brother and I stood in front of the fan as four administrators cited irrelevant statistics about the graduating class (including what percent of them owned ipods). Six kids then spoke, most of them delivering variations on the same theme. Hahahaha, five of them were girls who seemed very poised, but one was this short little boy who didn't adjust the microphone and who I couldn't hear at all. The best part, I think, about all of this was that I'd brought a book to read--Murakami's Norwegian Wood. I'm sitting there as these little kids talk about their middle school years reading about 1) what the main character's institutionalized friend looks like naked; 2) the main character's institutionalized friend giving him a handjob; 3) the main character discussing masturbation with another friend; 4) this other friend randomly telling the main character perverted fantasies. Oh, and the main character eating cucumbers in the hospital room of his friend's dying father.

Just when I thought the ordeal couldn't get worse, what do they project on the wall but a powerpoint. There was about a twenty minute powerpoint featuring pictures of the eighth grade class and...interesting music selections. Including "Yesterday." Why anyone would play that at a graduation, I don't know. Had they actually heard the song?

Right, so in conclusion, when you're in a situation where you're certain things can't get worse, remember this: there could always be a powerpoint.

Date: 2006-06-09 01:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thalassatx.livejournal.com
*waves cane threateningly*

Back in my day, we only had one graduation - the one from 12th grade! LOL!

Date: 2006-06-09 03:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 3pipeproblem.livejournal.com
Hahaha, I envy you. Oh, do I envy you.

Date: 2006-06-09 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thalassatx.livejournal.com
*wheezes threateningly*

Date: 2006-06-09 05:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 3pipeproblem.livejournal.com
Afterwards my brother and his friend told me about this kid in their grade who got a car for his 8th grade graduation (he'd been held back numerous times, clearly) and drove off in it. It's absurd.

Date: 2006-06-09 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thalassatx.livejournal.com
Oh, you are kidding... please?

That's just sickening.

Date: 2006-06-09 06:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 3pipeproblem.livejournal.com
Hahahaha, I read this to my brother and he goes, "Hey, Josh was cool."

I live in a fairly sickening town.

Date: 2006-06-09 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thalassatx.livejournal.com
Heh, we have cities around here like that.

Date: 2006-06-10 03:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moomookrymoo.livejournal.com
So basically the parents were like congrats honey you're a retard. Good job on Understanding Understanding!

Date: 2006-06-10 03:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 3pipeproblem.livejournal.com
Hahahahaha, from what my brother told me, the parents didn't even attend the graduation. They just gave him the car.

Date: 2006-06-10 03:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moomookrymoo.livejournal.com
Amazing! Actually after my dad found out that when I graduate there's going to be 3,000 people and they have each one walk across the stage he asked if he could just give me the cash he would have spent on a plane ticket and not go.

Date: 2006-06-10 03:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 3pipeproblem.livejournal.com
HAHAHAHA. I told my mom I don't plan to go and she went "But you have to! I want to go to your graduation."

Date: 2006-06-10 03:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moomookrymoo.livejournal.com
I told that to Ryan and he said the same thing to me!

Date: 2006-06-09 02:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likeadeuce.livejournal.com
In the words of the immortal Bruce, "Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny."

Actually it's pretty funny now, even if the experience wasn't.

Date: 2006-06-09 04:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 3pipeproblem.livejournal.com
My brother and I pretty much mocked the ceremony throughout, so it was less painful than it could have been. Didn't stop my feet from hurting after all that standing, though.

Date: 2006-06-09 02:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moomookrymoo.livejournal.com
Damn! Too bad I wasn't in town I would have gone with you. Remember when we went to the 4th grade show lol! Maybe you can send me a tape from LFTV.

Date: 2006-06-09 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nicalamity.livejournal.com
Wow. Funny thing about powerpoint....

...we were supposed to have one at my 8th grade graduation. But, there was a hurricane. We had no power for graduation AND it was insane outside. I went to private school, thus graduation was in the church. HUGE windows. BAD IDEA. But, whatever.

So, you would think that everyone would talk about the fact that there was a HURRICANE outside, right? I had decided I didn't want to wear a dress, thus my mom had ordered me this really lovely suit to wear. Well, not a "suit" but you know. It was like navy blue, dress pants, really randomly nice outfit. So, I didn't look stupid. And at the time, I had like crazy Hermione Granger hair, which we had controlled. Overall? I was cute, damn it. But people kept pointing at me saying, "Look at the girl wearing pants." But, ya know, when there's a HURRICANE, do you really want to wear a skirt and deal with it flying up outside? Yeah, no.

So, when you're certain it can't get worse and powerpoint isn't available, just remember: you could be the girl wearing pants. =P

Date: 2006-06-09 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 3pipeproblem.livejournal.com
There was a hurricane and they still went through with it? That's insane! Of course, 8th grade graduations in general are insane.

I wore pants to mine as well. And a jacket I think I still have. But really, who cares? I could've worn jeans and a t-shirt and nobody'd care by now.

Date: 2006-06-09 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fence-post.livejournal.com
I was baffled for a few minutes until I remembered how in America you have that middle school thing and you finish it in year 8. Right? It isn't some random graduating celebration?

Date: 2006-06-10 03:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 3pipeproblem.livejournal.com
No. Well, fairly random since these kids are about thirteen. It's not as though they're heading on to college. Just high school.

Don't worry. 8th grade graduations baffle Americans as well.

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