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Jun. 9th, 2006 07:28 amYesterday I got dragged to my sister's eighth grade graduation. Of all the stupid events...when I was in eighth grade, I graduated (believe it or not) and my family had a fairly big party with a lot of family members and a few friends. I think I got a new bike. The same goes for my brother and my other sister. This sister didn't get a party or any presents, partly because my family has become poor, but mostly because, as my mother said, "[Your other sister] is out of town." I don't understand why myself and my brother had to attend--my sister didn't care. We certainly didn't care. I have reasoned this through and the only logical conclusion is that my mom wanted to make us miserable.
Okay, the one good thing is that my middle school has this kickass machine where you can buy pencils for a quarter. Now I assumed (back in the day) when I bought one that they'd be your normal pencils, but the machine is apparently stocked by a colorblind crazy man. And in the seven (?) years since I went there, the price has remained the same! So I did get three extremely ugly pencils for my trouble (and seventy-five cents). That was the good part.
Graduation was, as per usual, in the gym, which was, as per usual, sweltering. My father, my brother and I stood in front of the fan as four administrators cited irrelevant statistics about the graduating class (including what percent of them owned ipods). Six kids then spoke, most of them delivering variations on the same theme. Hahahaha, five of them were girls who seemed very poised, but one was this short little boy who didn't adjust the microphone and who I couldn't hear at all. The best part, I think, about all of this was that I'd brought a book to read--Murakami's Norwegian Wood. I'm sitting there as these little kids talk about their middle school years reading about 1) what the main character's institutionalized friend looks like naked; 2) the main character's institutionalized friend giving him a handjob; 3) the main character discussing masturbation with another friend; 4) this other friend randomly telling the main character perverted fantasies. Oh, and the main character eating cucumbers in the hospital room of his friend's dying father.
Just when I thought the ordeal couldn't get worse, what do they project on the wall but a powerpoint. There was about a twenty minute powerpoint featuring pictures of the eighth grade class and...interesting music selections. Including "Yesterday." Why anyone would play that at a graduation, I don't know. Had they actually heard the song?
Right, so in conclusion, when you're in a situation where you're certain things can't get worse, remember this: there could always be a powerpoint.
Okay, the one good thing is that my middle school has this kickass machine where you can buy pencils for a quarter. Now I assumed (back in the day) when I bought one that they'd be your normal pencils, but the machine is apparently stocked by a colorblind crazy man. And in the seven (?) years since I went there, the price has remained the same! So I did get three extremely ugly pencils for my trouble (and seventy-five cents). That was the good part.
Graduation was, as per usual, in the gym, which was, as per usual, sweltering. My father, my brother and I stood in front of the fan as four administrators cited irrelevant statistics about the graduating class (including what percent of them owned ipods). Six kids then spoke, most of them delivering variations on the same theme. Hahahaha, five of them were girls who seemed very poised, but one was this short little boy who didn't adjust the microphone and who I couldn't hear at all. The best part, I think, about all of this was that I'd brought a book to read--Murakami's Norwegian Wood. I'm sitting there as these little kids talk about their middle school years reading about 1) what the main character's institutionalized friend looks like naked; 2) the main character's institutionalized friend giving him a handjob; 3) the main character discussing masturbation with another friend; 4) this other friend randomly telling the main character perverted fantasies. Oh, and the main character eating cucumbers in the hospital room of his friend's dying father.
Just when I thought the ordeal couldn't get worse, what do they project on the wall but a powerpoint. There was about a twenty minute powerpoint featuring pictures of the eighth grade class and...interesting music selections. Including "Yesterday." Why anyone would play that at a graduation, I don't know. Had they actually heard the song?
Right, so in conclusion, when you're in a situation where you're certain things can't get worse, remember this: there could always be a powerpoint.
